Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
  • #185287
    Advice Needed

    To all….I’ve run out of ideas on where to look for advice. My father has Becker Muscular Dystrophy…he lost the use of his legs but until the last few days he’s had a great life…kids/grandkids…we take him out as often as we can, he adores and plays with the grandkids etc.
    January he has spent a lot of time in hospital with numerous problems. Came home last week and panic attacks started. On Friday he was rushed again to hospital with a suspected stroke…turns out he fainted and had low blood pressure/iron etc. Since he’s been home he’s gone into total depression…no strength to move his arms/talk/eat…even the grandkids can’t make him smile. He’s totally given up on life. I desperate for idea on how to help him. Any advice please x

    Nicoleelias5
    Participant
    Posts: 0
    Joined: 08/02/2020
    #185288
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    I only wish I had a solution for you, but you will appreciate it is hard for anyone outside your circle of family and friends to give any sort of practical advice. All of you being there for him, showing your love; that and detailing all that is going on to his health care professionals, that is all i can say to you during what must be a very upsetting time for you all.

    All the best
    Ranald

    ranald
    Participant
    Posts: 747
    Joined: 05/09/2010
    #185289
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    This is indeed a very bad situation for you. But it strikes me that there may well be some medical issues that need addressing as well as the psychological ones. You have not said if he is under continuing medical review, or if there any mental health teams involved. The low blood pressure and low iron needs to be addressed if they haven’t been already.You say he has no strength to move his arms etc. Is that because literally he has no strength, or because he has no will? has he really given up? is he taking care of himself with personal hygiene and eating etc? Does he have any interests outside of family life which might be used to ‘bring him back’? As Ranald mentions the love of the family can be so vital here, but in the end he will need a reason to ‘get better’ if his current position is all mental. Though from your description I would think not.
    Please do come back to us if you have more information.

    Mike

    So many love songs, so little love.

    embayweather embayweather
    Moderator
    Posts: 8
    Joined: 02/11/2015
    #185291
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    Firstly, thank you both soooo much for your responses. I wish I knew about this forum a long time ago.

    Medically he is being treated very well and his problems finally being addressed correctly – I won’t go into all the dramas we’ve had with hospital…I need another private forum for that :lol:
    We have carers in place and I’ve started a schedule so family don’t visit all at once and spread out the love.

    I believe he’s very run down, stressed, scarred…the last few hospital visits has taken it out of him. I think him having no strength is due to depression and simply tired of the constant fight. Today seems to be a better day and his movement in his arms seem slightly better. I believe patience and love is the best medicine we can offer him right now.
    We have suggested maybe trying a support group but he’s very old school and does not believe this would help although I think it would really help talking to others in similar situations.

    Again thank you for reaching back out to me and fingers crossed in the next few days he starts to feel a little like his old self again xx

    Nicoleelias5
    Participant
    Posts: 0
    Joined: 08/02/2020
    #185336
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    That is good news that he is making some progress. Please do keep us informed.

    Mike

    So many love songs, so little love.

    embayweather embayweather
    Moderator
    Posts: 8
    Joined: 02/11/2015
    #185652
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    Sadly my dad is now in intensive care, clearly he was feeling weak for a reason 😔
    Fingers crossed he manages to pull through. Thank you again for you help and support x

    Nicoleelias5
    Participant
    Posts: 0
    Joined: 08/02/2020
    #185656
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    That is sad news indeed but he is now in the best place to discover what the problem is. I hope he recovers soon.

    Mike

    So many love songs, so little love.

    embayweather embayweather
    Moderator
    Posts: 8
    Joined: 02/11/2015
    #185665
    Reply To: Advice Needed

    Sorry to hear about your dad’s deterioration, Nicoleelias5, That is such a shame. I really hope you and your family get the answers you are looking for from the ICU staff.

    ranald
    Participant
    Posts: 747
    Joined: 05/09/2010
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