Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • #74029
    Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    As a red blooded hetro-sexual my desires for sex and marriage are on an increase, but living in a society where disabilities and marriage (or sex) do not gel at all (in Pakistan), so I feel i am getting really frustrated on this account. Has tried to *do things* privately (never tried to watch them *movies* either as they kinda gross me out given the rude nature of that particualr medium) to relieve some of those sexual frustration, but there is always a lot of embarassement to face (my family members are my carers), so try not to indulge myself (my faith also doesnt allow it as well).

    I always get in a bind psychologically when I meet a beautiful woman, so when I realise that I cannot have a relationship and end up getting married it really make me go crazy. I have tried discussing this issue with my family but as i feel very embarassed I dont pursue this line of action, although I did end up discussing the issue with my parents and it always came down how will I have sex and the issue of children (the conversation was fine example on how to talk in hints and nudges).

    So the reason I am writing this post is to ask questions and get info from people having BMD but having relationships and marriage. I want to know about sexual expericenes with able bodied and diabled people?. How difficult is it to have intimate relations with a woman (abled or otherwise)?. And shud I try to convince my folks in at least trying to get me married so that I have a) a loving relationship and b) I hve can have sexual exps (cant have them without getting married according to my Muslim faith).

    I know we cannot discuss sexual situaions on this forum so plz feel free to email me on fal_82us@yahoo.com, fal_82@hotmail.com. Thank you

    fal82
    Participant
    Posts: 3
    Joined: 24/10/2011
    #82734
    Re: Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    PS…I am 29 yrs old. My condition was diagnosed as BMD at the age of 6 and have been wheelchair bound since I was 17.

    fal82
    Participant
    Posts: 3
    Joined: 24/10/2011
    #82732
    Re: Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    Oh dear, that is quite a mountainous and contentious subject matter.

    Talking in great general terms, there is nothing stopping you from seeking and finding that special someone you wish to share the rest of your life with. However there is the issue of your condition and how that restricts you physically, as well as sexually. I do not know the intricacies of your religion so there maybe added difficulties there as well; and true there are societal issues, ie how you and your wife are viewed by the wider community.

    I would consider having a discussion with your parents, or maybe just you and your Father/brother as a first step? As to the method of sexual intimacy, that is something you and your ‘wife’ could figure out together, it would become something unique and special to just you two and no one elses business.

    I'm always the animal, my body's the cage

    I blog about nothingness www.amgroves.com

    AM
    Participant
    Posts: 4,751
    Joined: 05/03/2015
    #82733
    Re: Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    Hi fal82. Have a read through this post if you haven’t already done so.

    viewtopic.php?f=2&t=211&hilit=sex

    Sag

    Sagar
    Participant
    Posts: 82
    Joined: 20/12/2010
    #82736
    Re: Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    Hi sagar….yea i read the whole thread…tht is how i cud muster up the courage to ask my question..btw pretty good blog site..am just going thru it

    Hey AMGmod…yes this is a really touchy topic at the best of times..the main problem lies in the limitation of the condition which can become a hinderance to sexual intimacy. My religion doesnt put that much strain in me seeking out a partner but u are bang on that socially its a huge problem esp if 2 disabled person are in a relationship. I mean its a problem u guys face as well even thoough u live in a western country. But in a country like Pakistan we r still battling with the issue of quota system for the disabled in the work place, no representative in the government setup, hell even the availablity of ramps in building is a problem, so the case of having a partner or getting sexaully involved is kind of a stretch…but then again there r quite a few ppl who have gone against the tide if u will…and have gone on and got married and such but more like needle in a haystack scenario.

    yes i too wud consider some discussion on this matter but getting my parents or my sibling involved so early on is a recipe for embarassement…I will require more research before I even contemplate opening up a debate in my house hold over this matter….u can contact me on my email stated above.

    fal82
    Participant
    Posts: 3
    Joined: 24/10/2011
    #82735
    Re: Sex, Marriage and BMD…

    Disabled people aren’t supposed to want sex, according to some unwritten rule. Society can’t seem to deal with it.

    ranald
    Participant
    Posts: 747
    Joined: 05/09/2010
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