May 11, 2017 at 12:25 pm #149550I was just
I had a realisation the other day, which I felt to me at least, was quite profoud, and I felt it worth sharing. It might explai in no small amount the depression that keeps hitting me.
We have all been in a conversation which goes like this:
Anyone: Hello, my name is …….
Me: Hi I am Mike
Anyone then goes on into a long conversation to find out more about you until yiu get to
Anyone: What do you do for a living then?
Me: Nothing. I was a …. and I sued to be a …. and I had to give up being……, so I am just retired now.
An therein lies the crux of the problem. I am now the I was just man, no longer I am a ….. anything at all. Having said that I am scratching my mog’s ear at the mo but I dont think that counts. In common with many MD suferers I have had my jobs taken away from me by the condition, I need ot have a purpose in life, to feel needed and sueful. I need to find soemthign to do. Runnign my weather station is not really challenging, and for may is a bit self centred and geekish. Unpaid taxi work for the various smaller members of the family is not really rewarding either (try asking for petrol money!).
I believe that I have found something that may give me a raison d etre so I will need to see if it does change things for me and get me out of this creeping depression.
The point of all this is to warn others not to let the MD grind you down. Keep going, keep pushing, make sure you have something to get you out of bed each and every day, it might just help to make things a little better.
So many love songs, so little love.May 14, 2017 at 2:43 pm #149586Reply To: I was just
Thanks for sharing that with us. It’s important to acknowledge things like this.
A learning experience is one of those things that say, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.” - Douglas Adamssar78ModeratorPosts: 2,246Joined: 05/03/2015May 19, 2017 at 7:54 am #149673Reply To: I was just
Thanks for the posting. You raise an excellent point that we should not let MD grind us down. I do my best to remain positive but I do crack occasionally and have a “Why me?” moment which usually ends up with a fight with my “black dog”, otherwise known as depression. I have deteriorated quite quickly lately and now , like you, I need to have someone with me when I go out. My struggle is that I love going out but it is the hassle of transport and will I be able to sit down, stand up, toilet etc etc etc.?
I do my exercises most days and also enjoy watercolour painting, playing my keyboard to keep the fingers going and then I take time out to do my form of self hypnosis which I have learned to do over the years. I also do my best to have at least one “laugh a day” which I find helps.
Best wishes and keep fighting!
Colin42Colin42ParticipantPosts: 0Joined: 04/04/2016May 19, 2017 at 11:34 am #149681Reply To: I was just
Depression is a real problem for me, and its getting bigger. Almost to the point I was going to canel the second part of the course I have enrolled upon. Not a lot of support for that around here either, so I am very much on my own dealing with it. I spent nearly thirty years counsellilng people in a previous life so I know what to say to myself, but it does not work. I am going to keep battling because if I decide taht there is “no point” in doing anything then I will also become “I used to be a human being”. Then there is nothing left.
I am aware my legs are getting worse and each day it seems I am making more adjustments to lilfe to carry on. That I can live with. When I cant feel useful then I know I cannot live with that. My father , who is 93, has my FHSD and COPD, spends his llife sat in a chair readin g and watching TV. He can do little else. I value him highly of course but he does not value himself. It is a very slippery slope which I caution not even to look down.
I will let you all know if I get through it all, and even if I dont. Its all very frightening.
So many love songs, so little love.May 19, 2017 at 9:29 pm #149688Reply To: I was just
I sat down years back while in a bad place and made a list. 2 lines down middle of a bit of A4. First side ‘Issues’ next section ‘Plan B’ and third ‘Plan Z’ coz always need to look onward if something dont work move on and try again at hitting problem another way.
So at that time I was worried about mobility on a family trip. So my ‘Plan B’ became a walking stick and grew to a mobility scooter.
My most recent ‘Plan B, C and D’ was the introduction of a better power chair, A drive from WAV and some Carer hours.
Now that I am mobile I have added a new ‘Issue’ I’m ready to explore and find a work around. Toileting Independently away from home. As we all know this is a big issue on the duration one can stay out away from home and enjoy the time away without withholding fluids.
"""""""What doesn't kill you makes you stronger""""""CatModeratorPosts: 1,002Joined: 20/09/2010June 22, 2017 at 11:52 am #150294Reply To: I was just
As promised an update on progress towards being “I am”. I attended my two day course alst week and was able to pass through that. I now have one more leg and that is a practical exam. Lots more work, study, practice and worry before I get through it. I did seriously question last week just before the exam why I was doing all of this at my age. Knocking on 65 why am I putting myself through this torment? To give my self a purpose in life, and this is the only way around it. Hopefully if I pass you may see why its all necessary, but i am not going to count my chickens just yet. Actually I do every day as we have three wandering around outside but thats another story.
The exeprience of being in a classroom again after so many decades was interesting. Felt like I had never been away. But also I was able to contribute, to use my knowledge and share it, and whats more, was accepted just the way I was, wheels and all. A far cry from many other situations.
But more news later about the practical test.
So many love songs, so little love.June 27, 2017 at 8:10 am #150373Reply To: I was just
Thanks for the update. I admire you for having the guts to face the challenge of the classroom andbeing able to make contributions to the session. Please keep us informed about your practical test and good luck.
Colin42Colin42ParticipantPosts: 0Joined: 04/04/2016
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