February 18, 2013 at 4:40 pm #74714Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Hi lovely TalkMD mods and members
Happy Monday to you all!
I’m working on the next edition of Target MD and, as you know, your input has become a very valued feature in the magazine. Thank you.
I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, hints and tips and a few of your experiences of caring/carers – both good experiences and experiences that could be better.
Please also let me know whether or not you’d be happy for me to use your comments in the magazine or not. Thanks so much.
I look forward to hearing from you
RuthFebruary 18, 2013 at 6:25 pm #87838Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Where to begin. I’ve have experienced care in many different ways from family to living away from home whilst at college to now being an employer of a team of 8 carers.
I have had people walk out on me and had care from an agency that when i told them i no longer wanted their services threaten me with legal action and another agency that didn’t always turn up to get me up or put me to bed!! These situations sound awful and i don’t want to scare anyone but these were all learning curves and good ones too. I have learnt that i am paying for a service and if i am not happy then i am within in my right to change things. Where agencies are concerned never be afraid to say your not happy with their service or the carer they are sending in. You have to feel comfortable with who is providing your care. As an employer the way to deal with a similar situation is different you have procedures to follow. You cannot go straight ahead and change things you have to give your employees sufficient notice. As an employer you are bound by employment laws from minimum wage to holiday entitlement and PAYE and NI contributions due on your employees pay, whilst this may sound daunting when first starting out its really not that bad. I have been an employer for 7yrs and i wouldn’t change it. I am in control and that’s the way i like it.
I have a great team of carers now. The most important thing is communication between you. If this breaks down then that’s when things can start to go wrong.February 18, 2013 at 9:38 pm #87835Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Worst incident ever…..
Twenty-five years ago when I was full time carer to my mother, they used to give
me a few days of “Respite” and send in agency nurses.
One nervous young girl arrived, took one look (and sniff) at the situation said the
immortal words “Careplus don’t do Diarrhea” and ran out crying.
Strangely someone saw her a few weeks later behind the counter at the post office.
"Even if you are not paranoid, it does not mean they are not out to get you!".taungfoxParticipantPosts: 4,630Joined: 27/09/2010February 19, 2013 at 9:33 am #87841Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Not sure where to start…
I have carers who come in each day to get me up and showered and dressed. I’ve used the same care agency for a few years now. They’ve had their ups and downs, and it’s taken a bit of complaining to get things right, but on the whole we’ve settled into a regular pattern now, and it generally works ok. There is the occasional problem if one of my regular care workers is off sick or on holiday, but the agency should (and usually does) cover this. I’ve only had one care worker that I’ve had to ask them not to send again.
From what I hear from other people’s experiences, if you’re using an agency it is most definitely worth shopping around to find one that suits you, and be aware that the quality of service does vary widely. You do need to make sure that the care workers are specifically trained in personal care if that’s what you need.
We’re currently trying to negotiate a few extra hours weekly for a specific task, and I’ll report back later on this, maybe…peteredParticipantPosts: 564Joined: 24/01/2011February 19, 2013 at 11:54 am #87839Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
My big Sister is my carer. At present I do not need continual care, I am fortunate to be able to sort of kak-handedly manage but without her assistance I’d be a stinky, gibbering, wreck.
I'm always the animal, my body's the cage
I blog about nothingness www.amgroves.comAMParticipantPosts: 4,751Joined: 05/03/2015February 19, 2013 at 1:12 pm #87840Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
My experiences are very similar to Vicki’s. I learnt a lot about things when I was living away at university. My care was provided by the CSV organisation (Community Service Volunteers) and I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand the volunteers were similar in age to me but unfortunately not all were matched well to the project and a few left after one term. There was a breakdown in communication in one year and I felt a bit overwhelmed by the bad feeling – like Vicki said, communication is key and I always remember this experience and how ill-equipped I was, I was not the confident and more assertive person I am now that I employ my carers directly. I certainly feel more in control and there has to be flexibility I think, it works both ways between employer and employee and getting on with the people who are providing care for you is so important in my opinion. You need to be able to trust people and be happy that they respect you and your home environment but they also share arts of your like and provide companionship at times.
My care package gave me independence and meant I didn’t feel I was putting too much on my parents. Also, i wanted to be more of my own person and not have my family looking over my shoulder! Now, they would not be physically able to care for me and have the peace of mind that I have good, reliable people around me.
I think I have gone on enough but may chime in again later
A learning experience is one of those things that say, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.” - Douglas Adamssar78ModeratorPosts: 2,246Joined: 05/03/2015February 19, 2013 at 2:35 pm #87836Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Thanks so much for these wonderful and helpful contributions. If you’re ok for me to do this, I’ll use excerpts from each of these, and will follow up with some of you to get some more detail. Do let me know if you’re not happy with this. Thanks.
And please keep sending in your thoughts and experiences – this is just exactly what I was looking for!
RuthFebruary 19, 2013 at 10:45 pm #87833Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Thankfully I don’t have a carer yet. I do get the assistance I need when I need it from one of my younger brother’s mostly. Other family members help but, mostly it’s one brother. He works full time so I have to base chores that need doing around him, which can add to his already long day. He is also responsible for walking my dog, Gwen, and if it wasn’t for him I couldn’t keep Gwen. I can’t imagine a carer would do that. The debt I owe him & the gratitude is immeasurable. It can’t last forever like that though & inevitably I will need more care.
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former selfI, Disabled BlokeParticipantPosts: 540Joined: 29/10/2010March 3, 2013 at 4:38 pm #87842Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
My husband is my career which kind of changes the whole dynamic of the marriage. There s alot of compromising going on from both sides but he is my rock and I don’t know where I’d be without him.
ValValerieParticipantPosts: 166Joined: 15/09/2010March 4, 2013 at 9:54 am #87843Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
Happy Monday to you all! Thanks so much for your contributions and insights, all of you. I’d like to use all of these in the magazine, with your TalkMD names and avatars – please let me know if you’re not happy for me to do this.
RuthMarch 4, 2013 at 4:41 pm #87845Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
I can’t personally relate to what some of you have had to cope with, i am in awe of your tenacity in the face of adversity. However, i can’t for the life of me work out why you should have to cope with the stresses of being employers, on top of everything else!
It surely offers you control over the quality of care you receive, but i can’t help wondering how those less than compos mentis would cope. Is there help available to help people through the minefield?
RanaldranaldParticipantPosts: 747Joined: 05/09/2010March 4, 2013 at 7:23 pm #87846Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
My mother is my full time 24 hour (unpaid carer) as we llive together I cant get funding to pay her properly but I believe I could get part funding to pay her if we lived apart. all she gets is basic income support.
"""""""What doesn't kill you makes you stronger""""""CatModeratorPosts: 1,002Joined: 20/09/2010March 4, 2013 at 10:57 pm #87847Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
That must be terribly hard for both you and your mum Cat, i couldn’t imagine allowing my mum or dad to do personal things for me, we barely manage to stay on speaking terms! (spoke once in last month)
If i had a choice, and i really couldn’t look after myself, i imagine i would prefer to be cared for by strangers. (I have no experience in this area, so i can only guess)ranaldParticipantPosts: 747Joined: 05/09/2010March 4, 2013 at 11:12 pm #87848Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
I’ll say it again, feel very lucky after hearing about the situations some of my peers here are in. I tip my hat to the familes looking after some of you & me.
No objection here Ruth
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former selfI, Disabled BlokeParticipantPosts: 540Joined: 29/10/2010March 5, 2013 at 11:14 am #87849Re: Next Target MD topic – caring and carers
… i can’t for the life of me work out why you should have to cope with the stresses of being employers, on top of everything else!…
This is the reason that we decided to use an agency to provide care support. Maybe you have a bit less control, but I felt I had enough to cope with, with full-time work and dealing with life in general, without taking on the responsibility of being an employer. Fortunately, at the moment at least, the agency we use is doing things pretty well.peteredParticipantPosts: 564Joined: 24/01/2011
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