My Dating experiences

Published Date
17/02/2014
Author

All good things come to those who wait. That sentence has always been a bit of a kicker to me because I can’t help but think how long do I have to wait?

The world of dating has always been a difficult one, disability or not, let’s face it we are dealing with one of our strongest emotions and instincts. To find a partner and potentially live happy ever after.

Having a disability has never prevented me from experiencing these feelings and the want to be in a relationship has always been a constant desire. Some people may find this surprising but having a disability does not make me any different from anyone else when it comes to finding love.

It wasn’t until a week ago that I realised how lucky I have been when it comes to the world of dating. Having Cerebral Palsy that affects my speech and movement has become a mental obstacle for me as the years go by. However looking back at it now this was not always the case.

I have been very fortunate to have had the relationships that I have had, however its been a double edged sword as I have not been without my share of heartbreak. I am not sure if this is because of my disability or not but I have realised that I am a sensitive person and a helpless romantic. In a lot of my relationships I have always ended up falling heavily in love very quickly. Usually this was because of the person that I was with but there have been occasions where I have thought if it was more the fact of being in a relationship. In my experience it is very rare to find someone who can genuinely look past my disability and again be willing to help me with certain care aspects. I can’t help but feel that I am burdening them with my disability. This has always affected my confidence when it has come to dating.

As much as I want to avoid it clichés in this blog I have to face facts that that is not going to happen. “I really like you but only as a friend” and “I love you but not in that way” or “I don’t want to ruin what we have got” seem to haunt me when I think back about my experiences in cupid’s remit. Like everyone I always thought to myself after each of these lines that that is it for me I can’t be dealing with the whole dating scene. However give it a couple of weeks and again just like everyone, being single kicks in and along with it comes the loneliness and the want to be with someone.

These days I do find myself worrying more about finding someone and part of that I guess is down to my own perceptions I have with what others may see in me. However I think it is something I myself have to overcome. There are a lot of people out there and I guess you have to remain positive about the prospects.

For some people the words disability and dating don’t seem to fit together, or that if you have a disability then you should be with someone else that has a disability too. What I have learnt though that it does not matter what other people think as long as you keep an open mind.

 

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