“He was my best friend and my biggest supporter”: Why I took on a challenge in memory of my big brother

On Sunday 26 July, Emily Slatter completed Tough Mudder Yorkshire, a 15k obstacle course renowned as one of the muddiest and most physically demanding in the UK. Joined by her fiancé and eight friends, Emily took on the challenge in memory of her older brother Joe, who lived with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and sadly died in 2021 aged 28. Emily tells us about her brother and the challenge.

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We first came up with the idea to do a Tough Mudder a couple of years ago when I’d shared with the group that it was one of my New Year’s resolutions. From there, the idea grew and once we signed up for the Yorkshire 2026 challenge, I knew it was a great opportunity to do it for an amazing cause. I was both elated and moved when my fiancé Will White and eight friends (James Wood, Gina Wood, Elliot Johnson, Yasmina Bugel, Jake Fowler, Georgia Leigh, Daniel Eaton and Cameron Proctor) did not hesitate to get on board with raising money for MDUK.

My brother Joe

My older brother, Joe Slatter, lived with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). He was diagnosed at around 18 months. There was no one in our family with DMD that we can trace back to, so it came as a shock to my parents.

We had a wonderful childhood full of holidays, music and family jokes which still live on to this day.

“We were so fortunate to have friends and family who loved us all fiercely and in return Joe loved them back just as much.”

I am aware that Joe was different to his peers in school, and therefore I was different to my friends because my brother had a disability. I never paid much attention to things that other families could do because of their able bodies, vs a family with DMD.

As far as I’m concerned, I grew up with an amazing older brother, who was absolutely hilarious, incredibly intelligent and loved all things films, TV and video games. He had a love for wildlife with the likes of Steve Irwin and Sir David Attenborough as his heroes. I am very lucky to have two parents who worked hard every single day to give us a life that meant we never missed out.

This year I faced a milestone

Joe was my best friend, my biggest supporter and an unlimited resource of unconditional love. Therefore, a part of me was broken forever when he died in 2021 at 28 years old.

“One milestone I’ve dreaded since that day was turning 29, which is when I’d officially be ‘older’ than my big brother. However, I hope that if this reaches any younger siblings of someone with DMD, I want to reassure them that it still feels like he is my big brother, and I think that will always be the case.”

Grief isn’t linear, and there are things that surprise you years after your loved one dies, and it is ok to work through these complex milestones that even your peers can’t relate to. My advice would be to lean into the ones that love you, be as kind to yourself as you would to the person you love the most, and don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings. I want to pause and take the time to thank those around me who have let me grieve and helped me live life to the fullest throughout it.

I know he’d be proud

I know that Joe was really proud of me when I did a 5k Tough Mudder years ago, and I remember sharing with him all the funny details – so I know for a fact that he would have loved hearing about the challenge we have just completed as a group. I know he would be laughing at some of the tales we have from this amazing experience.

As a group, we hope that our fundraising helps other families living with DMD, either through counselling, equipment, days out, or grant money towards research projects that could improve longevity and quality of life, or genetic research into learning how to find a cure. I know that as a team we’ve raised awareness among those around us, including the kind people taking part in Tough Mudder who stopped to ask about Joe and the charity.

Some thoughts from my fiancé and friends

“What started as a cold and intimidating morning quickly became one of the most fun and rewarding challenges I have ever faced, and it was an honour to raise money. I know that Joe would be so proud.” Will White

“Gina and I have wanted to do Tough Mudder for a long time, but it was so good being able to do it alongside this group. I have some experience working with the muscular dystrophy community whilst in paediatrics within the NHS, and I know that charities like MDUK do such good work. Completing this challenge alongside Em, for Joe and MDUK, was a privilege.” James Wood

“The Tough Mudder is to challenge myself whilst raising money for a charity dear to Emily which does amazing work to support those with Muscular Dystrophy and their families.” Georgia Leigh

“I unfortunately never had the pleasure of knowing Joe, however I recognize the impact that his presence had on Emily and influenced the wonderful person she has become, and for that I am honoured to take part in this challenge as a way to remember him.” Daniel Eaton

“We started, laughed, fell, finished all together and strong as one. We should all be proud of ourselves and each other – to not only smash the course but to do it in memory of an amazing person and for a brilliant charity is even better.” Elliot Johnson

“We are so proud of Emily, Will and the team’s efforts to raise money for such a brilliant cause. We know that Joe would be too.” Emily and Joe’s parents, Helen and Richard Slatter

Thank you

I would like to thank my amazing friends who took part in this challenge. It was a huge effort from all of us and we all leaned on each other to get through it. I would also like to especially thank my fiancé, Will. You held my hand through the toughest parts of the challenge, just like you did when we lost Joe. He loved you like a brother and I know he’d be just as proud of you and the incredible person you are.